Has Baseball Started Yet?
May 25th, 2009
Miami Beach, FL
NOTE: Before reading realize I had no time to proof and rewrite. I apologize to you and the English Language.
I've always said that baseball doesn't matter until July, so basically up until that point I only pay casual attention to it. This year, however, Mr. Black had a little more cause than usual to watch.
The Yankees opened the New Yankee Stadium™ successfully destroying nearly 100 years of tradition and pricing all but the most wealthy fans out of their seats. After realizing that having 10 empty rows behind home plate looks bad on TV, they quickly cut prices in the most expensive seats by 50%, meaning it was only $425,000 for a season seat behind home place.
Also, Alex Rodriguez was the latest player to get busted for steroids. Knowing that he is only slightly more sane than a 16-year old on prom night, it was fully expected that he’d quickly fold like a house of cards this year, saddling the Yankees with another multi-gazillion dollar contract.
Finally, it was time to watch all the fun in Los Angeles, as Mr. Black’s least-favorite team would get a whole year’s worth of Manny Ramirez…which would truly test Joe Torre’s innate ability to ignore the massive ego that is the modern baseball star.
Well, the early season hasn’t disappointed. The New Yankee Stadium™ is a complete disaster. A-Roid came out swinging the hottest bat in the league. Manny tested positive and as a bonus David Ortiz is cold as ice, Barry Zito is so cold that after three years he’s become Encino Man and the Yankees are suddenly in second place, only a game out of first. What a great two months. Let’s take a closer look.
The New Yankee Stadium™
Besides being the most expensive ticket in pro sports on a game-to-game basis, the “house that greed built” also is averaging more homer runs per game than Coors Field did in it’s first year.
Stop and read that line again.
Yes, Coors Field gave up an average of 3.7 home runs per game in it’s first year. That was with a starting rotation of Kevin Ritz (the staff ace), Billy Swift (the ever-present high-priced free agent that promptly had a 101.32 ERA), Armando Reynoso (The Silent Assassin, the only guy that understood you had to pitch down in Coors Field), Bryan Rekar (no idea who that was and I lived there at the time) and Starvin’ Marvin Freeman. None of these pitchers had an ERA below 4.20.
With the Yankee’s starting pitching, there is an average of 3.9 home runs per game in the new stadium. Luckily for the Yankees, the field is much smaller than Coors Field, or the solo and two-run homers would be three and four run home runs.
I guess the Yankees figure chicks dig the long ball, and are looking to increase their female fan base. God knows Melky and Robbie are working on it.
Alex Rodriguez
Well, well, well. Mark down the day, because Mr. Black was wrong. Thinking the pressure would be too much, I figured A-Rod would fold and have a terrible year. Instead he’s hitting home runs like every at bat is in Coors Field….oh wait, most of them have been in Coors Field East.
Well, at least he’s been hitting in the clutch. And Mark “Don’t Mess With” Texiera is batting about .868 with A-Roid in the lineup. So now the Yankees have some offense and I hate to say it, but there’s a huge difference with Alex in the lineup.
Manny Ramirez
Oh Manny, you so crazy…using steroids and pissing off the entire LA roster (but not the city since no one watches sports there). This gives me great pleasure, although a small part of me is sad to see one of the scariest power hitters legacies tarnished. Back in the day (before MLB had any testing policies) there was no one scarier to have come up to bat. Unless it was Gary Sheffield, who was also juicing, or…..
David Ortiz
Who’s fall from grace has been fast and furious, not unlike Mark McGuire. Now, I’m going out on a limb here, but doesn’t he look a lot smaller now, and he’s bothered by nagging injuries even though he mainly DHs. Lots of parallels to, well, everyone who juiced. Just sayin’.
And one more thing to watch:
Barry Zito
I had one of those, “Hey, whatever happened to Barry Zito?” moments yesterday morning when I was grabbing breakfast. Well, lo and behold, just as I was thinking that SportsCenter had some lowlights of him getting shelled.
Like Manny and Papi, he was once one of the most feared at his position. His curveball was absolutely sick, dropping from 12-6 and making everyone look foolish. Then, he signs with the Giants in 2006 and proceeds to become Carl Pavano, but without all the injuries (but all the sucktitude).
I’m kind of torn on this, since I really used to like Barry Zito since he seemed like a nice fella and was fun to hang around. So, I’m hoping he turns it around. Especially since the Giants need to make up some ground on the Dodgers.
And a bonus thing to watch:
The Texas Rangers
Wow. 2½ games up in the AL West. Nuts.
But it’s only May.
Miami Beach, FL
NOTE: Before reading realize I had no time to proof and rewrite. I apologize to you and the English Language.
I've always said that baseball doesn't matter until July, so basically up until that point I only pay casual attention to it. This year, however, Mr. Black had a little more cause than usual to watch.
The Yankees opened the New Yankee Stadium™ successfully destroying nearly 100 years of tradition and pricing all but the most wealthy fans out of their seats. After realizing that having 10 empty rows behind home plate looks bad on TV, they quickly cut prices in the most expensive seats by 50%, meaning it was only $425,000 for a season seat behind home place.
Also, Alex Rodriguez was the latest player to get busted for steroids. Knowing that he is only slightly more sane than a 16-year old on prom night, it was fully expected that he’d quickly fold like a house of cards this year, saddling the Yankees with another multi-gazillion dollar contract.
Finally, it was time to watch all the fun in Los Angeles, as Mr. Black’s least-favorite team would get a whole year’s worth of Manny Ramirez…which would truly test Joe Torre’s innate ability to ignore the massive ego that is the modern baseball star.
Well, the early season hasn’t disappointed. The New Yankee Stadium™ is a complete disaster. A-Roid came out swinging the hottest bat in the league. Manny tested positive and as a bonus David Ortiz is cold as ice, Barry Zito is so cold that after three years he’s become Encino Man and the Yankees are suddenly in second place, only a game out of first. What a great two months. Let’s take a closer look.
The New Yankee Stadium™
Besides being the most expensive ticket in pro sports on a game-to-game basis, the “house that greed built” also is averaging more homer runs per game than Coors Field did in it’s first year.
Stop and read that line again.
Yes, Coors Field gave up an average of 3.7 home runs per game in it’s first year. That was with a starting rotation of Kevin Ritz (the staff ace), Billy Swift (the ever-present high-priced free agent that promptly had a 101.32 ERA), Armando Reynoso (The Silent Assassin, the only guy that understood you had to pitch down in Coors Field), Bryan Rekar (no idea who that was and I lived there at the time) and Starvin’ Marvin Freeman. None of these pitchers had an ERA below 4.20.
With the Yankee’s starting pitching, there is an average of 3.9 home runs per game in the new stadium. Luckily for the Yankees, the field is much smaller than Coors Field, or the solo and two-run homers would be three and four run home runs.
I guess the Yankees figure chicks dig the long ball, and are looking to increase their female fan base. God knows Melky and Robbie are working on it.
Alex Rodriguez
Well, well, well. Mark down the day, because Mr. Black was wrong. Thinking the pressure would be too much, I figured A-Rod would fold and have a terrible year. Instead he’s hitting home runs like every at bat is in Coors Field….oh wait, most of them have been in Coors Field East.
Well, at least he’s been hitting in the clutch. And Mark “Don’t Mess With” Texiera is batting about .868 with A-Roid in the lineup. So now the Yankees have some offense and I hate to say it, but there’s a huge difference with Alex in the lineup.
Manny Ramirez
Oh Manny, you so crazy…using steroids and pissing off the entire LA roster (but not the city since no one watches sports there). This gives me great pleasure, although a small part of me is sad to see one of the scariest power hitters legacies tarnished. Back in the day (before MLB had any testing policies) there was no one scarier to have come up to bat. Unless it was Gary Sheffield, who was also juicing, or…..
David Ortiz
Who’s fall from grace has been fast and furious, not unlike Mark McGuire. Now, I’m going out on a limb here, but doesn’t he look a lot smaller now, and he’s bothered by nagging injuries even though he mainly DHs. Lots of parallels to, well, everyone who juiced. Just sayin’.
And one more thing to watch:
Barry Zito
I had one of those, “Hey, whatever happened to Barry Zito?” moments yesterday morning when I was grabbing breakfast. Well, lo and behold, just as I was thinking that SportsCenter had some lowlights of him getting shelled.
Like Manny and Papi, he was once one of the most feared at his position. His curveball was absolutely sick, dropping from 12-6 and making everyone look foolish. Then, he signs with the Giants in 2006 and proceeds to become Carl Pavano, but without all the injuries (but all the sucktitude).
I’m kind of torn on this, since I really used to like Barry Zito since he seemed like a nice fella and was fun to hang around. So, I’m hoping he turns it around. Especially since the Giants need to make up some ground on the Dodgers.
And a bonus thing to watch:
The Texas Rangers
Wow. 2½ games up in the AL West. Nuts.
But it’s only May.
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